Disappointment is one difficult emotion that we all have to encounter and go through in our journey through life. The emotion can be devastating or disrupting in such a way that it leaves you helpless. One tricky thing about disappointment is that it can start small and be escalated into something huge or it can be huge from the word go. No one wants to be let down especially by the people we trust, care for and love, yet this happens a lot more often.
Getting disappointed can hurt and drag you down into a negative attitude for days or even weeks and may even cause some psychological issues. The good news is that there are ways that can help an individual deal with disappointment in a better and manageable way. These will then assist in the process of recovery and moving on with their daily lifestyle.
These measures have been found to work by experts and have assisted so many people to bounce back into life after huge disappointments.
Overcoming Disappointment In Your Daily Life
Below are 7 tips that I’ve personally learnt over the years to help me handle my disappointments and most importantly find a way to deal with any disappointing circumstances in a different and better way.
Take A Moment To Think
When you get disappointed, take a moment to think through and let the experience sink in. It is a good idea to find a word that describes your feeling; like disappointed, resentful, angry or afraid. When you think and define your feelings your brain can make sense of your experience.
Knowing and experiencing your feelings and emotions will help you make a cool-headed decision about what to do next. Clarifying why you are feeling disappointed will help you understand your initial thoughts. Understanding your initial thoughts will help you stop making excuses, complaining, and avoiding responsibility. This is the first step you need to take to stop ignoring the real problem.
Have A Mindset Shift
There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, even every loss, contain its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time ~ Malcolm X
When you encounter any form of disappointment, your state of mind is affected in a lot of different ways and you become so vulnerable resulting in mixed emotions like grief, anger, fear and so on! So it is important to shift your mindset to a position where you’ll be able to analyse the situation better. As the quote above suggests, you will find that in that state of disappointment, you’re bound to find your solution if you look carefully.
There are many things you can do to improve your mood and recharge yourself, such as:
- Write a personal journal
- Walk in the park
- Watch an uplifting movie
- Playing games
- Talking and spending time with positive people
- Read your favorite book
- Enjoy spending time outside
The idea is to get you away from thinking about and dwelling on your disappointment and do things filled with positivity. Avoid at all cost situations where you’ll indulge in alcohol to a point where you can’t remember a thing the next morning. That will be a drawback and a delay in your recovery from your disappointments.
Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
“The secret to dealing with disappointment is to not let it grow into stronger emotions like discouragement and depression,” says counselor and life coach Monte Drenner, LMHC, CAP. He continues to emphasise that the only way to regain your peace of mind is through the process of turning those negative emotions into positive emotions.
Only because things didn’t go your way and you experience disappointment, doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up. Every experience we have good or bad is a chance to learn something especially about ourselves. We know that nothing of worth grows in our comfort zone and sometimes our disappointments become our wake up call. What you’ll later find is that the amount of knowledge you learn about yourself is massive and may propel you to better things.
Whatever is happening to you, view it in a way that will help you turn things around. What you should always remember is that you can achieve anything if you put all your effort into it. Believe there is always a reason why things happen.
Take A Good Look At Your Expectations
As human beings sometimes we expect too much from situations we shouldn’t, so that’s why when a disappointment happens, it’s important to analyse it more. Taking a good look at your expectations may help you understand why it happened in the first place and whether you had an unrealistic expectation or not.
Maybe all you need to do is adjust a little to adapt them to your reality. When you are experiencing these emotions, it may be the perfect time to see if these expectations can help you.
One psychotherapist once said that “feelings are real and are important to recognize. But thoughts are not always the truth.” She stipulates the importance of looking back at your expectations that lead to that disappointment and look at them objectively to see if you might have overreacted or not. If not then you have the right to feel those emotions.
Then find ways to get through them for better results. You have to keep in mind that your expectations determine how you will feel after the events have taken place.
Learn From Your Experience
We don’t choose what happens to us and cause our disappointment but one thing we can definitely choose is how we respond to those emotions. No one will come to rescue you if you’re not willing to take the first step to get better. What you can do is accept that it’s happened and face it head-on. Then find ways to get yourself out of whatever situation you find yourself into.
Be thankful for everything that happens in your life; its all an experience. ~ Roy T. Bennett
Right in this middle of your disappointment, is the time to learn. You can start by getting to the bottom of the whole experience and ask yourself these important questions:
- What can I learn from this experience?
- What things do I learn about myself?
- What can I learn from my expectations?
- What can I change to do better next time?
When you honestly answered these questions you will surely see a different perspective and endless possibilities. This will hopefully birth new ideas and positive emotions giving you clarity and the chance to move forward.
Start Moving Forward Again
Moving forward after a disappointment is never easy, however, it has to be done and in a proper way. It is the best thing you can do for yourself. One thing you don’t want to do is dwell too long on the circumstances that make you stagnant. The sooner you seek help the better you’ll become and this will give you the chance to see things from a different perspective.
Life is a journey, full of adventures to be enjoyed. You don’t want to waste time dwelling on the past but instead acknowledge that things have happened, you’re disappointed but its time to move on and be your best self.
Find out what you want and what makes you burn with joy inside and then go and do it. Hang out with people who will be all out to genuinely help you on your quest. Don’t let anything make you feel bad for doing what’s best for you and your inner self. The rewards for doing what you love are incredible.
One thing to remember is that it’s okay to take your time and even to start small ion something you love and enjoy.
Journal Your Feelings
One of the best ways to deal with your disappointment is by writing down how you feel as a result of what happened. When these are just some helpful habits for dealing with disappointment and improving your self-esteem as you get back to your normal life.
Take A Break: Have A ‘Me’ Time
Most of the time taking a little break for your normal routines to have self-care is the best thing you can do for yourself. We all want to work hard and achieve our desired goals, but sometimes when we divert all our energies to work, we tend to lose focus.
Taking time to have a break and give ourselves a deserved self-care can make a huge difference. Our perspective shifts and we mays see things differently because we have recharged. There is always a high possibility that when you come back from a break, you see your disappointment differently and allow yourself to move on from it.
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Finally…
We all have challenges and disappointments but the most important thing is to find a way to get back on our feet. We must also keep in mind that most of our disappointments will come to us at the time when we push ourselves to become our better selves. When you leave your comfort zone and work hard, you’re inviting different forms of tests and challenges. This comes in different forms, be it in a relationship, friendships, work-related issues and etc.
Remember, the key is to face adversity in a constructive way and find the root cause so you can learn from it.
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Powerful, have been reading through this and found it both inspirational and motivating. Life changing advice.
Hi Nlisi,
Thank you so much for your feedback, it’s highly appreciated. I am glad you got something out of this blogpost. Feel free to share it around:)